I always listen to 95.5 The Fish on the radio. This morning I heard a song by Mikeschair called "Keep Changing the World." It was the first time I heard the song and have been captivated by it's lyrics. It is everything I believe in and encompasses what I am trying to do by changing the law to extend the age of emancipation. Please read the lyrics. Take action! Like us on facebook, send me an email at ohioschildren@gmail.com, and get involved! Let's make a difference before we leave this world! Together we can do it!
Something here is wrong
There are children without homes
But we just move along to take care of our own
There's so much suffering just outside our door
A cry so deafening
We just can't ignore
To all the people who are fighting for the broken
All the people who keep holding on to love
All the people who are reaching for the lonely
Keep changing the world
Take a look around
Before the sun goes out
What's lost can still be found
It's not too late now
It only takes one spark to make the fire burn
So reach inside your heart and let this be the start
I know you see this suffering
How they gonna recover when
People just look over like,
Like they don't even notice it
Everyone who's focused in,
On ending all this hopelessness
You can change the world
By changing Who the world is focused on.
I see the sun coming up
It's a brighter day
Let's show the world that love is a better way
So lend a hand join the fight'Cause time is ticking away
Keep changing the world
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
It's Time For A New Tactic!
I have been working on changing the law for the age of emancipation for approximately 6 years and for various reasons that I have previously explained, I am no further ahead than I was when I began. How unfortunate that I cannot get a law changed that will help children of the state especially since it would not effect the state budget in any way. This is solely the responsibilty of the parents.
The number of children this would benefit is a select group of those from divorced homes. I know that are many non-residential parents who still remain active in their children's life even after they turn eighteen; this is to protect the children whose parent makes the choice to focus on their needs and not the continuing needs of the child.
I have decided, that since my voice alone is not being heard, I would try and recruit additional help. I have written to the Domestic Relations Court Judges, associations for women (since most women are the residential parent and in need of financial assistance), and community members who appear to be interested in children and their welfare.
Once again, I ask that if you are interested in joining the journey, without having to do anything but let me know you agree, contact me at ohioschildren@gmail.com.
Thank you!
The number of children this would benefit is a select group of those from divorced homes. I know that are many non-residential parents who still remain active in their children's life even after they turn eighteen; this is to protect the children whose parent makes the choice to focus on their needs and not the continuing needs of the child.
I have decided, that since my voice alone is not being heard, I would try and recruit additional help. I have written to the Domestic Relations Court Judges, associations for women (since most women are the residential parent and in need of financial assistance), and community members who appear to be interested in children and their welfare.
Once again, I ask that if you are interested in joining the journey, without having to do anything but let me know you agree, contact me at ohioschildren@gmail.com.
Thank you!
Friday, July 8, 2011
I Need YOUR Help!
Today, instead of providing more facts or figures or quoting an author on the topic of emerging adults, I have decided to ask your support with the promise of more facts to come!
This journey is about making sure children of divorce, after the age of eighteen, still get the financial support, from the non-residential parent, to achieve their goals, be it attending college or looking for full time employment. If the child finds full time employment, child support would cease. If the child attends college, child support would remain in effect until the age of 23 or upon graduation. This gives the children from divorce families the same financial support they would have received had their parents remained married.
This proposed change to the law does not effect the State government, does not put an additional burden on any social institution, and does not require outside funding. This places the responsibility to financially support the children back on the parents where it belongs.
There are many non-residential parents who continue to support their children past the age of eighteen. This protects the children if one of the parents makes the choice to free themselves of their responsibility to ensure their child is ready to take on the responsibilities of adulthood.
If you are interested in joining this cause, please contact me at ohioschildren@gmail.com or ohio's children on facebook. I look forward to hearing from the many wonderful residents of Ohio! Thank you!
This journey is about making sure children of divorce, after the age of eighteen, still get the financial support, from the non-residential parent, to achieve their goals, be it attending college or looking for full time employment. If the child finds full time employment, child support would cease. If the child attends college, child support would remain in effect until the age of 23 or upon graduation. This gives the children from divorce families the same financial support they would have received had their parents remained married.
This proposed change to the law does not effect the State government, does not put an additional burden on any social institution, and does not require outside funding. This places the responsibility to financially support the children back on the parents where it belongs.
There are many non-residential parents who continue to support their children past the age of eighteen. This protects the children if one of the parents makes the choice to free themselves of their responsibility to ensure their child is ready to take on the responsibilities of adulthood.
If you are interested in joining this cause, please contact me at ohioschildren@gmail.com or ohio's children on facebook. I look forward to hearing from the many wonderful residents of Ohio! Thank you!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Five More Weeks and My Twins Will Be Adults
My two youngest children, a boy and girl, will be 18 on August 11th. I watch them closely as they near that wonderful age of adulthood and chuckle; they aren't anywhere near ready for the responsibilities of adulthood. Could they truly exist independently from me? Will they wake-up that morning and magically be an adult? I've heard it rumored that some parents actually throw their kids out of the house when they turn 18 because our society has now deemed them adults. Being an adult, like anything else, is very demanding if you plan on doing it right. There are people my age who still haven't achieved adulthood although they appear to be adults just because they have physically grown-up.
My daughter gives it a good try. She is super responsible, a type "A" personality, and tries to be prepared for what is ahead. She is even going to live with her Dad when she turns 18 just to see what life is like living with him. She has purchased a cookbook and asked me for recipes of her favorite meals I have made for her. She is not moving out on her own even though society says she is an adult and should be able to handle adult responsibilities. She doesn't have a job that would enable her to pay for rent, utilities, and food. She isn't ready for marriage or raising children. She is exploring her options in a world of many possibilities on her road to adulthood. The first step is attending college.
My son is so excited that he is turning 18. I'm not sure why. Nothing is going to change. He will still be depending on me for all of his basic needs. He will still be attending school and working part-time. The rules of what is expected of him will remain the same. The only difference I'm aware of is he will now be able to vote and, sadly, will be able to go off to war if our country needs him. He is content living with me and preparing for his future. He, too, will attend college.
Both children are so different in many ways, as is their older brother who is still at home and attending college, but none of my children are ready to be independent and that's ok with me. I want them to have the time to "grow-up" and be prepared for their future and all the responsibilities that come with being a responsible adult.
My daughter gives it a good try. She is super responsible, a type "A" personality, and tries to be prepared for what is ahead. She is even going to live with her Dad when she turns 18 just to see what life is like living with him. She has purchased a cookbook and asked me for recipes of her favorite meals I have made for her. She is not moving out on her own even though society says she is an adult and should be able to handle adult responsibilities. She doesn't have a job that would enable her to pay for rent, utilities, and food. She isn't ready for marriage or raising children. She is exploring her options in a world of many possibilities on her road to adulthood. The first step is attending college.
My son is so excited that he is turning 18. I'm not sure why. Nothing is going to change. He will still be depending on me for all of his basic needs. He will still be attending school and working part-time. The rules of what is expected of him will remain the same. The only difference I'm aware of is he will now be able to vote and, sadly, will be able to go off to war if our country needs him. He is content living with me and preparing for his future. He, too, will attend college.
Both children are so different in many ways, as is their older brother who is still at home and attending college, but none of my children are ready to be independent and that's ok with me. I want them to have the time to "grow-up" and be prepared for their future and all the responsibilities that come with being a responsible adult.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Not Quite Adults
Sociologists and psychologists are studying the transition from childhood to adulthood in a new light. The book, "Not Quite Adults Why 20-Somethings Are Choosing a Slower Path to Adulthood and Why That's Good for Everyone" by Richard Settersten, Ph. D. and Barbara E. Ray, details the reasons why our children no longer are taking the traditional path to adulthood. Their study has revealed much of what we see in our society and that is, education is one of the most important keys to a secure future. Gone are the manufacturing jobs that made Cleveland, in particular, a vibrant city and a great place to raise a family.
The authors describe this time from childhood to adulthood as a period when these children need to explore the possibilities that are available to achieve the same goals their parents attained at a much younger age. They write: "As a society, we pay too little attention to the fates of young people whose parents are unable or unwilling to provide guidance and support that they so desperately need" (pg 143). Living at home ensures a more positive future. It allows for saving for the future, exploring job options and honing of skills for career building.
When my parents married, my Mom stayed home and raised the children, cleaned the house and cooked for the family and my Dad worked to support us. I waited until I was 30 years old to get married and start a family. I went to college, living with my parents rather than going away, and eventually moved out, 2 years after I found a full time job, in my mid-twenties. There was no pressure to leave. My parents and I got along well and I was able to have a more stable start to my future.
My children's father chooses not to support them emotionally, financially or in any other way. It is a loss for them because they could have had more opportunities had he chosen to remain involved in their lives. Seeing that I could not change his behavior and, once the children turned 18, the courts had no authority, I chose to propose the age of emancipation be changed to age 23. I would once again like to reiterate that if the child is employed full time, child support would cease. I still am trying to generate support for this change in the law and would appreciate anyone who is interested to contact me at ohioschildren@gmail.com. Our children deserve support from both of their parents. It was not their choice to be born and it is the parents responsibility to be there for them until they reach adulthood.
The authors describe this time from childhood to adulthood as a period when these children need to explore the possibilities that are available to achieve the same goals their parents attained at a much younger age. They write: "As a society, we pay too little attention to the fates of young people whose parents are unable or unwilling to provide guidance and support that they so desperately need" (pg 143). Living at home ensures a more positive future. It allows for saving for the future, exploring job options and honing of skills for career building.
When my parents married, my Mom stayed home and raised the children, cleaned the house and cooked for the family and my Dad worked to support us. I waited until I was 30 years old to get married and start a family. I went to college, living with my parents rather than going away, and eventually moved out, 2 years after I found a full time job, in my mid-twenties. There was no pressure to leave. My parents and I got along well and I was able to have a more stable start to my future.
My children's father chooses not to support them emotionally, financially or in any other way. It is a loss for them because they could have had more opportunities had he chosen to remain involved in their lives. Seeing that I could not change his behavior and, once the children turned 18, the courts had no authority, I chose to propose the age of emancipation be changed to age 23. I would once again like to reiterate that if the child is employed full time, child support would cease. I still am trying to generate support for this change in the law and would appreciate anyone who is interested to contact me at ohioschildren@gmail.com. Our children deserve support from both of their parents. It was not their choice to be born and it is the parents responsibility to be there for them until they reach adulthood.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Who Can Our Children Turn To?
There are currently two schools of thought about the transition to adulthood. There is a group who believe a person has reached adulthood at age 18 and if the parents continue to assist them, they are coddling them. The other group believes that to assist their children after this age is helping them prepare for adulthood by providing them a secure base to explore their options and reach their optimum potential.
I happen to be of the latter belief. I have a 20 year old son and 18 year old twins, a son and a daughter. I have first-hand knowledge that these children are not ready for the financial or emotional demands of adulthood. Personally, I believe we live in a different society where the opportunities of the past are long gone. A high school graduate can no longer be assured of a full time job with a salary and benefits to sustain a family. Quite the opposite. As of May 2011, 8.6% of Ohioans are unemployed; that's just slightly under 1 million people searching for work!
My oldest son is enrolled in a local college. I am grateful that, as a single mom, I can offer him the opportunity to attend college while I provide food, shelter, and security. He is financing his own education since I am doing the best I can to provide the basic necessities on my own. My intention is to do the same for my other two children. I am a firm believer in gaining skills for the future, either by attending college or a trade school.
In my research of the states that already have the age of emancipation at either 21 or 23, I have to say the letter from Garry Kemp, Administrator of the Department of Child Support for the State of Hawaii, was the most poignant. In his letter he explains his belief as to the reason Hawaii has had the age of emancipation at age 23 for over 50 years. He states: " Legislation in Hawaii has been beneficial to the poor for many years and there is a strong emphasis on protecting children."
I have often gone over that sentence of the letter wondering why the State of Ohio doesn't seem to feel the same way about it's children.
I happen to be of the latter belief. I have a 20 year old son and 18 year old twins, a son and a daughter. I have first-hand knowledge that these children are not ready for the financial or emotional demands of adulthood. Personally, I believe we live in a different society where the opportunities of the past are long gone. A high school graduate can no longer be assured of a full time job with a salary and benefits to sustain a family. Quite the opposite. As of May 2011, 8.6% of Ohioans are unemployed; that's just slightly under 1 million people searching for work!
My oldest son is enrolled in a local college. I am grateful that, as a single mom, I can offer him the opportunity to attend college while I provide food, shelter, and security. He is financing his own education since I am doing the best I can to provide the basic necessities on my own. My intention is to do the same for my other two children. I am a firm believer in gaining skills for the future, either by attending college or a trade school.
In my research of the states that already have the age of emancipation at either 21 or 23, I have to say the letter from Garry Kemp, Administrator of the Department of Child Support for the State of Hawaii, was the most poignant. In his letter he explains his belief as to the reason Hawaii has had the age of emancipation at age 23 for over 50 years. He states: " Legislation in Hawaii has been beneficial to the poor for many years and there is a strong emphasis on protecting children."
I have often gone over that sentence of the letter wondering why the State of Ohio doesn't seem to feel the same way about it's children.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
A Journey of 1000 Miles...or so it seemed
I think it is prudent to explain how I became interested in children being considered adults at the age of 18 so you can understand the significance of this age. I will summarize the journey otherwise it would be too long for a blog; it would be more suited to be a literary short story. My story began in 2004 when I became a single parent of three children. I realized that it was going to be financially difficult to support my children, without the assistance of their father, after the age of 18 and that he would have a choice to either continue, or not continue, financial support.
I contacted my representative in 2005 and proposed that the age of emancipation be changed to age 23. The proposal included a section that stated if the child is employed full time before reaching that age, child support would cease. It seemed fair to both parents but most of all, fair to the child. Never knowing exactly how a bill becomes law, and honestly, I'm still a bit confused, I didn't realize the effort this simple request would take.
He wrote the proposal in 2005 for the 126th General Assembly. The proposal was not made into a bill since the representative was in his last year of office and didn't have the opportunity to propose the legislation. I had then met Josh Mandel, outside my voting poll, and asked him if he agreed with my thoughts about raising the age of emancipation in the State of Ohio. He said that if elected, he would be interested in looking into it further. Josh Mandel was elected to represent my district so I contacted his office to see if he would sponsor the proposal. Many, many hours went into discussing the proposal, with his wonderful aides and many hours were spent researching other state's legislation who already had the age of emancipation at age 21 or 23. A friend and I even drove to Columbus, to the State House, to personally meet the aides and discuss the substance of the proposal. Unfortunately, Josh was asked to return to active duty in the military and so the proposal sat for years unattended. Upon returning, he was unable to bring the proposal to the floor because the House was controlled by the Democrats and he is a Republican.
Wow, what an eye-opener that bit of information was. I was astounded that a proposal to assist the children of the state was being held-up because of politics!
Fast-forward six years, from the start of this journey, to 2011 and Marlene Anielski is now my representative. Of course, I have already personally met with her and have provided a vast amount of material on the subject in hopes that she will sponsor the proposal.
My journey is far from over; it is just beginning a new chapter to help the children of the great State of Ohio.
I contacted my representative in 2005 and proposed that the age of emancipation be changed to age 23. The proposal included a section that stated if the child is employed full time before reaching that age, child support would cease. It seemed fair to both parents but most of all, fair to the child. Never knowing exactly how a bill becomes law, and honestly, I'm still a bit confused, I didn't realize the effort this simple request would take.
He wrote the proposal in 2005 for the 126th General Assembly. The proposal was not made into a bill since the representative was in his last year of office and didn't have the opportunity to propose the legislation. I had then met Josh Mandel, outside my voting poll, and asked him if he agreed with my thoughts about raising the age of emancipation in the State of Ohio. He said that if elected, he would be interested in looking into it further. Josh Mandel was elected to represent my district so I contacted his office to see if he would sponsor the proposal. Many, many hours went into discussing the proposal, with his wonderful aides and many hours were spent researching other state's legislation who already had the age of emancipation at age 21 or 23. A friend and I even drove to Columbus, to the State House, to personally meet the aides and discuss the substance of the proposal. Unfortunately, Josh was asked to return to active duty in the military and so the proposal sat for years unattended. Upon returning, he was unable to bring the proposal to the floor because the House was controlled by the Democrats and he is a Republican.
Wow, what an eye-opener that bit of information was. I was astounded that a proposal to assist the children of the state was being held-up because of politics!
Fast-forward six years, from the start of this journey, to 2011 and Marlene Anielski is now my representative. Of course, I have already personally met with her and have provided a vast amount of material on the subject in hopes that she will sponsor the proposal.
My journey is far from over; it is just beginning a new chapter to help the children of the great State of Ohio.
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